Another Night of Beer & Pizza
Monday, June 23rd 2014
We left Portland at 7AM yesterday Morning. Our show last night was in Petaluma, Ca. It is now 1:53 PM on Monday, June 23rd, and we're just getting out of Redding, CA. For those of you I'll kindly refer to as "Directionally Dyslexic"..... We didn't make it to the show in Petaluma.
Instead, we hiccuped through the tail end of the Mt. Shasta Siskiyou pass, fearful of the thought that at any given moment a semi-truck could come barreling around any given corner we had to stop at, and put an ugly finish to whatever it was that troubled our trusty speedster (A '93 15 Passenger Ford Club Wagon). At least, that's what I was thinking. It was the start of my new band BoomrangKids (Who, if I'm not mistaken, is in your CD player and/or Cassette deck at this moment....) first tour with Portland's punk rock band Symptoms, who I was also playing bass for. It was also my first time back touring with a Rock n Roll band after a few years hiatus and singing like a girl. Our phones were near dead and out of service, and it was the hottest time of day in one of the hottest parts of Northern California. It seems the world of touring in a Rock n Roll band has welcomed me back with open arms. Thank you my dear, I'm glad I haven't missed much.
A few minutes of Cory & Jake knocking things around under the hood went by, along with some head scratching and dumb jokes, as per usual. About an hour had passed until a cop came by and offered to push us down the off-ramp into the parking lot at Shasta Lake (see the video link at the bottom of the page to watch this go down). Glad he didn’t ask to search the van, they usually do. We coasted into the lot, and a game of "Hurry up & Wait" quickly ensued. Now, we could have taken this opportunity to beat the blistering heat (110* easy) and jump in the lake, but our instincts said otherwise. The foggy, exhaust clouded shores were anything but appealing, and the rows upon rows of houseboats took whatever of that was left of appeal. So, much like our days of high school dances (I guess if I were to attend) we were the awkward wallflowers, chalk full of wishful thinking and watching everyone else have all the fun. We hung around the lot taking bad selfies and pulling more pieces off the van. We are professionals, you know.
Fast forward another two or so hours and our tow truck has finally arrived. We all pile in and start chatting it up. He tells us of a few motels near the tow yard/shop, but recommends we stay elsewhere and is willing to drop us near some that are more suited to us. Apparently it's not the greatest area of Redding (No offense, Redding, but I've yet to see the good). We insist that whatever the conditions, we can handle it. We're tired, hungry and have most likely been forced to stay in worse neighborhoods. A few years of traveling/touring and a dash of desperation will harden you to most situations when it comes time to rest. All things considered, I suppose. Plus, we felt comfortable the closer to the van we were. So, he drops us with him at the shop and we part ways. It's now about 7PM and still way too hot. We walk about 1/2 mile to the said row of motels. Thank the stars the four of us are as easy-going as we are, because for a moment I thought we were transported to fucking Russia.
We walked past what I can only describe as what I thought was an abandoned motel. On the contrary, it very much had "guests" (of the long-term, I'm assuming), no groundskeepers, let alone managers on site, and no vacancies. Not for us anyways. The only solid ground I had to let me know this wasn't a squat was the one car that came through the electronic gate that was there to either keep them in, or us out. I couldn't quite place my finger on it. Thoughts of a drug-induced Chernobyl type experiment quickly passed through my mind. On to the next. I can't even tell if this one is worth writing about. For $22 a room and being "closed", save the "lady of the night" coming out of a room to inform us of its current availability (or lack thereof), I'll let you paint your own picture. Goldie Locks, I'm starting to feel your pain, sister. Hotel number three. We see two kids over a retaining wall jumping and having fun (a pool!?). Nope. Just jumping into a dirt field. Literally. We must have impeccable timing because we walked into a heated scene of a large black woman repeatedly asking us for a dollar, then the owner of the motel coming out, denying us a room and continuing to yell at her. We're kind of baffled. Why would you turn us down when we have cash? He didn't seem to care, every time we tried to convince him, he'd raise his voice just a little more until he was yelling at us to get out. As we walked out, he turned and started screaming at the lady. It was pretty comical.
I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Was this all one big joke, Redding? Was the mayor going to come out from behind a curtain and laugh, then give us all high fives and set us up in a Double Tree? From what we were experiencing, anything was possible. We were stranded. Our phones were all dead (coincidence?) and it was getting dark quick. That's when you don't want to be in those areas. Especially with guitars in hand. I used to rehearse with a band in the lovely neighborhood of the Tenderloin (if you're familiar with SF. If not, google it, it's worth a google) and was forced to walk through it at midnight numerous times. Now this wasn't as bad, but it was up there. It was still 100+ degrees outside and we were forced to walk about 5 miles of no man's land to downtown. Hotels. Motels. But no Holiday Inn. Only spying eyes creeping out from windows, sizing us up and probably sweating at the teeth to see what we have in our cases. Weirdos, I tell ya. Eventually, our walking tour of Redding's finest came to an end at the Stardust Motel. A dingy little place that was willing to let four dudes share a room (can you believe one place turned us down because he would let three stay in a room, but was appalled at the mention of four? ....... ???)
By this time it was creeping up on 11PM, and with little time to spare, I paid cash, and directed half of our group to power-walk to the nearest store just before they close to get us some well deserved beers. An ice cold beer is something I rarely crave, but on this night, it was dire. We ordered pizza, rolled up a jazz cigarette (That’s weed for all you squares) & laughed about our adventure. All things considered, and having to cancel the show (bummer), we all agree that unexpected nights like this can still be great, if you make it to be. We slept well that night, and didn't even have to worry about getting robbed.
UPDATE: We broke down in Redding AGAIN on the way home from this tour. This time 20 miles South of town. We still landed the same tow truck driver though, so there's that.........
